


Welcome to the Cumgle

by WelcomeToTheCumgle



Category: Black Clover - Tabata Yuki (Anime & Manga), Vinland Saga (Anime)
Genre: F/M, Harems, M/M, Masturbation, Sexual Innuendoes, Unrequited Crush, cum, i'm on crack, lot's of cum, poor spelling, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:29:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 9,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24708361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WelcomeToTheCumgle/pseuds/WelcomeToTheCumgle
Summary: Filth.OC:Name: Jack ElationTraits: White male, cum magic, rivals with solid, HATES Asta cause he’s cringe and always cancels his ejaculations, Likes: throwing rocks, cumming (even though he can’t do it himself). Dislikes: asta, yuno, the establishment, magic knights cause they always steal his sweet sweet cum.Looks: medium height, all bones no meat, dense bones, I mean like really really dense. Black hair in side bangs with a white streak.Catchphrase: “Welcome to the CumngleI”
Relationships: Licht (Black Clover)/Reader, Noelle Silva/Reader
Comments: 9
Kudos: 18





	1. magic exam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "enjoy"

My name is Jack Elation and I pissess the most powerful magic known to man and beast: cum magic. HOwever, I can only make others cum, but never myself. They called me the cursed cum-rag. But that all changes today! Today I will become the first of the ELation house to hold the title of magic knight!

This short little runt is ruining the mood though! How am I supposed to cum like this! I mean i cant cum anyways but still, he pisses me off. I punch him in the face when he tries to talk to me. THe crowd cheers.

“Here come the magic knight captains!”

Oh no. I see the master of splooge! Nozelle Silva! I will take his title one day after he cums to death! I see a white-haired; girl giving Nozelle the stanky leg, she looks very pretty.

Now the exam can start, I’m going to impress them with my magic! If only the wizard king were here: if anyone could make me cum itd be him!

Now it is time to fight! Who should I choose? It doesn’t matter, I beat them like I beat my mom. As they lay on the floor twitching and cumming a large scary magic knights captain stands up! He points to me and says

“You! You will be my CBT session leader!”

And with those words I joined the Black Bulls and my romance begins!


	2. haram

When we get to the base (oh by the way that short loud kid joined the Black bulls too ugh) I meet the rest of the crew. I instantly make them cum and start my harem. First i cum-punch Vanessa. She becomes my secretary. I titilate Charmy, she becomes my shoes. I slap the large fat man until he turns into a little girl; she becomes my personal towel. I make the emo guy cum so hard that he changes gender and joins my harem.

Last but not least, I turn to the white haired girl from earlier to do the same. “You can’t! I’m royalty!” she protests, running away. Tsundere alert! I track her down to make her cum, but find her with Asta (the short bitch). I am shocked and disturbed and run away.

‘How could any woman resist my charms?” I say to my Charmy shoes.

“It only makes me want her more.”

I step on Charmy and she moans in a mix of pleasure and pain.

While im musing, Yami, the magic captain, summons us inside.

“You go on mission, brig shiny stone” YAMI says.

“I want sex my sister” Gauce says

“Must flirt girl” Finral says

“Alchonol,” slurs vanessa

It seems that they are still recovering from the effects of my cumtasm. The three of us leave them behind. I hate asta but he’s here too.

“WOW A DUNGUN” Asta says as we approach the dungeon. “What will find inside?”

“Baka,” Noelle says creamily. ‘Let’s find out.,”

We go inside, 

“it is like maze!” Asta says

“Cum Magic: Cum Trail.” I cast a spell with my creamy white grimoire. A trail of cum shows us the way to the mana at the center. NOelle pretends not to be impressed but I know she is. 

“Come on let’s go.” Noelle says as her sandals schlop around in my cream

Oh no there’s a trap! The hentai plant grabs noelle, this is my time to shine!

“Sperm magic, White Snakes” A white haired figure shouts as the plant is devoured by hungry sperm. He stole my glory (hole)! Bazinga! 

“Who the hell are you?” I say

He sneers. “I am Solid Silva! My cum is so acidic, nothing can defeat me.”

Noelle blushes. “Solid that’s gross!” She glances at me, and blushes even harder.

Asta: “What is cum?”

I notice a disturbing fact: Solid is able to use his  _ own  _ cum, as opposed to others! This is bad, really bad. How am I going to sperm-pass my limit?

“Sperm magic, Lil swimmers” Solid shouts

Everyone’s clothes disintegrate from his acid cum. 

“Why are attack us? Are we friends not?” Asta grunts. 

Noelle screams. “KYYAAA! My magnum tits!”

“I sense another cum user here, all cum users are my enemies!!!” Solid shouts in climax

“Cum Magic: Cum dress.” I cover Noelle so she isn’t embarrassed, she cums from making eye contact. “Solid SIlva… even though you may be more powerful than me, I will become the Cum King! I challenge you to a duel!”

Solid smirks smirkingly. “ALright… whoever wins gets to bring the magic stone to the cum- I mean- wizard king. I heard that he will bestow a wish of one’s choosing if they bring the stone.” 

“A wish from the Wizard King! I might finally be able to cum!!!” I scream in erotica.


	3. the bagttle

Solid and I square up and get ready to fight. The magic stone is glinting at the side, promising unknowable pleasures in the future.  _ I can beat him! I just have to figure out how… _

Solid’s main advantage is that he can use his own cum. I can only use Asta’s because I want Noelles first time with me to be special. But there may be a way to work around this…

“Cum magic: seed bondage!” Ropes of cum wrap around asta to hold him there. He panics. “Nooo! Sister LIlly!”

“Thats right, just think about sister Lily” I say as i make the cum caress his cock and balls, priming him for my ultimate magic, unlimited splooge. “Cum magic: cum shot!”

It shoots over at Solid, who jumps out of the way just in time. “Fuck! Sperm magic: spermicide!” Acid cum shoots at me and hits my arm. I scream and fall to the ground.

Solid cackles. “No one will ever cum as much as me!”

Wait! That’s it! With a vengeful cry, I grasp my grimoire. “Cum magic… cum and die!”

This time, I use a specific person’s cum: Solid’s! SOlid screams as the feeling of his own magic and mine becomes too much for him. His cum turns a mildewy green. \ “NoOOOOO! WHAT! IT”S TOO MUCH! MAke it StoP!!”

“Welcome to the Cumngle” I say epicly

I glance at Noelle. She swoons but pretends not to. Asta is somehow fine. “Yay! Now we magic stone bring to wizard king! I’m become the wizard king!”

“Yeah yeah no one cares.” My own dream is more important, and now we are one step closer. 


	4. Wizark KINk

The next morning, Yami came in while we were eating breakfast. I was in the middle of crushing charmy under my heel when he came in. “Hey! Stop that! You can only do that to my balls,” he scolds. Oh right I’m supposed to be doing cbt or something. “Anyway, you three need to go to the capital and give that stone to the wizard king! FINRAL!”

“MMmmmmm” Finral moans

Vanessa had him tied up with thread magic for the past three days cause he looked at her and didn’t cum. (yes, all problems and conflicts are cum-based. Problem? *insert troll face*)

Yami freed Finral so he could open a portal for us. However, he wasn’t allowed to go. He still had unfinished business at the base. Finral teleports vanessa to his bedroom to answer the age old question: Is sex real? 

“Bazirnga” Asta fgrunsts. Noelle looks at me and blushes and cums. I didn’t even have to use my magic! Romance may be on the horizon! 

We went into the castel and met the wizard kink. Bazinga! Wow! AwOOOOGa!!! Humina humina humina (eys pop out of head and I put them back in my sockets.). However, I immediately spotted my competition: a cringe ass nae nae baby by the name of marx.

“Here you go, wizard king,” I say creamily as I hand the Wizard King the magic stone. “I kept it safe in my foreskin”

The Wizard King frowns “... Ah ... nice?,” he says slowly before taking it and quickly handing it to marx. “Now, I can grant you a wish.”

Asta decides to horn in on my celebration. “I have wish!” he says before I beat him to death.

“This is MY wish!” Determination glints in my creamy eyes. “I wish… to cum on command”

“What, you can’t?” The wizard king points and laughs at me. “Here you go.” He gives me a photo of himself. “This will make you cum instantly.” For the first time in my entire life I came, Noelle gets on the floor to lick it up. I step on her and continue cumming on her already cream-like hair. 

Asta is confused and upset. “Hey! What’s hapnin?”

Marx is mad. “But, Wizard King! I thought I was the only one to get your photo!” Now their 4 o clock cbt wouldn’t be as special. Too bad for him. 


	5. shister lily

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oh god oh fuck what have we done

Finral returns us to the base with his spatial magic after he performed le epic sex on Vanessa haha XD. I make Finral take me and ASta to HAge.

“Oh boy, I can’t wait to see Shister Lily” Asta says. Little does he know that thats reason we came here.

“Cum Magic: Seed Bondage” I say as I restrain ASta. 

“WaaWAAGGGAAAAAWAAAA” Asta cries like a piss-baby as i drag him to the church of Hage.

I waltz into the church and strap asta onto the cross. “Like jesus, you will witness the sins of humanity and soak them up before ascending.”

Asta is disturbed. “Huh?! Jegus?! Who that?”

Sister Lily walks in. “What’s going on here?” she asks cutely. “What is that white stuff?”

Sister Lily looks at me and orgasms. I walk over to where her twitching body lies and begin pissing and cooming with my newfound power. Asta shrieks in the background.

This continues for 3 days and nights, all three of us motionless, with only the sound of gushing cum to keep us company.

Sister Lily asks me to marry her when we’re done. I agree and make Asta watch.

After the wedding procession is over I activate my magic.

“Cum magic: cum and die!” Sister lily cums and dies.


	6. Holiday inn express in black clover? It's more likely than you think

The authors of this horrible fanfic find themselves isekaied into the Black Clover universe, except they wake up in a Holiday Inn Express hotel room. They are wearing adidas tracksuits as all isekai protagonists must.

“Holiday Inn? Black Clover? This can’t be right!” Female Author exclaims.

“UGghh, vibetacular!” Dumb male author exlaims “Time to conquer the Mimosa route!”

“No she is 15!” FA screams

At that moment a voluptuous woman with a bodacious bottom walks into our open room.

“Hey, my name is Mimosa and I’m 18!” Mimosa says

“Wait, that wasn’t in the manga!” FA exclaims.

The wizard King walks in! “Ohoho what a voluptuous legal woman! It is my time to shine!”

“Hey I saw her first!” MA says as he strips down to his polo shirt and khakis. The Wizard King returns the mating challenge in kind, disrobing and revealing a similar polo shirt and khakis combination. However the fight was over before it began, as the wizard King was not wearing his Birkenstocks and socks. At least the authors could see his feet!

The Wizard King saw the MA’s footwear and noticed his defeat. The MA then began to court Mimosa.The Wizard King makes a smooth retreat. 

Mimosa turns and smiles shyly and says “You won the prize!” Mimosa then turns into the Wizard King. The robe is also somehow back on.

“Wait a second,” FA said. “If you’re the Wizard King…” we look at the open door. “Then who was THAT?”

“We will never know.” Mimosa King exclaims.

Former Mimosa then proceeds to fall asleep on one of the room’s two beds. 

The Authors stare, confused, wondering if they should seize this golden opportunity to see what truly lies beneath the Wizard King’s robe. They cautiously glance at each other several times before silently deciding that they would rather not earn the King’s ire.

Without speaking, they turned and left the room through the open door.

They wander down the seemingly maze-like hallways until they reach an open area filled with food and a welcoming scent. It is the lobby, complete with a continental breakfast. While the authors look at the food, the area becomes flooded with c-list black clover background characters. They are drawn really poorly. It is the stuff of nightmares. The authors begin to munch on some buttered croissants. “Munch. Munch.”

As the authors munch on their breakfast, they hear a loud yell as the main door is kicked in. 

“Hands up and drop your weapons! We’re the Clover Police” The Clover Police say. “We are investigating a ponzi scheme at this continental breakfast. If you have a weapon, hand it over!”

We all look around at each other, confused. “I don’t have anything,” female author said.

“Yeah me neither,” Male author agreed.

There was a chorus of “me neithers” around the room, until suddenly-

“Ooh! Me! I have a gun!” The wizard king whips out a glock and everyone screams in shock. Because he is a white male the police do nothing and leave (black lives matter). “Oh, I guess they didn’t find the ponzi scheme?” says the Wizard King, still waving around his glock as he monches on a croissant.

The Wizard King disappears while we eat our breakfast, but comes back five minutes later, covered in blood and holding the deed to the Holiday Inn Express. “Here, on the house!” The Wizard King slaps the deed on the table and walks out the door.”Wait, we’ve never run a hotel before! COme back!” Alas, our cries fell upon deaf ears.

“Well I guess we have to run a Holiday Inn Express now,” Female author said. “At least he gave us a place to stay in this wacky situation”

“Let’s turn it into a brothel.” Male Author says. 

They turn the Holiday Inn Express into the Holiday Inn and Out Express. They hired Nebra Silva and promptly went out of business.


	7. The Cumming Dead

Now we can finally return to the “gripping” tale of Jack Elation.

(jack pov)

After many weeks of hard work and cum, I finally managed to convince Noelle to go on a date with me. 

“It’s not like I like you or anything.” She said salivating with hearts in her eyes. But I know what she means ;)

“I come too?” Asta asks. I eviscerate him and bathe in his ashes.

Noelle and I go to the royal capital. Wait what do you even do on a date? Is there something to do in this world other than shidding and cumming? I am a connoisseur of the latter. 

So we go to one of those “painting with a twist” places. There are a lot of Karens there. They share a hive-mind and possess small penis magic. One look and they can shrivel ur Mr. Johnson, horrifying really.

“Hello class,” the instrugder says. “Today we will be painting the Wizard King while drinking undiluted ethanol.” Ooh sounds like a fun time. 

I raise my hand. “Will the Wizard King be modeling?”

“No.”

A shame. Although, if he were here, this canvas, no- all the canvases in za warudo, would be painted with my cum. “Alright class lets get started.”

Noelle cringes but drinks the ethanol to try and look cool in front of me.

“Noelle, underage drinking isn’t cool!” I say

“What!!? You’re the same age as me!” Noelle retorts

“Haha Baka! The authors never revealed my age! Get nae naed Zoomer!” 

“Can you guys focus on the painting pu-LEEZ!” I turn to see the Karen hive mind looking at me. All their pictures of the wizard king are the exact same and almost hyperrealistic. Uh oh. If they use their magic, my exquisite cum will never bless this world again.

The Karens begin reaching for their grimoires, but I cum-blast them all, with my new spell, 50 shades of Cream. The Karens, being used up and dry, haven’t orgasmed for the entirety of their marriages. The reintroduction of pleasure took quite the toll on their bodies, and they all promptly passed out.

“Come on, Noelle,” I say, sliding on my Gucci glasses, “Let’s blow this shindig.”

We go outside and realize that a zombie apocalypse is going on. “Oh my god! What do?” Squeals NOelle like a stuck pig, or more accurately, Asta.

“I got this!” I say, readying my spell at the hoard of oncumming fiends. “Cum Magic: Cum and die!”

The spell doesn’t work, and the zombies keep advancing. “Oh no! They’re dead so everything is dried up! I have nothing to work with…”

But wait! I have one more cum card up my sleeve. I whip out my photo of the wizard king and cum instantly. “Cum magic: seed bondage!” I manage to tie up all of the zombies. “Cum on lets go find the others,” I squeal.

Soon we hear a familiar screaming sound and run and find the imoortal Asta and some other people. They are bullying an edgy teen with a cumtastic chin. There are so many zombies, and I don’t have enough cum left after that last attack! How am I supposed to defeat them?! Woe is me!

Welp, no point in worrying about it. I pull out my lawn chair and proceed to sip on a tasty tropical drink. Noelle holds an umbrella over my body to protect me from the sun's harmful rays while the other magic knights battle expired flesh puppets. Just when I thought I was safe, an undead begins to Thriller dance towards me. He is ruining my tropical paradise with his rancid vibes. I cry. This may very well be the end of the story of Jack Elation. At least Asta will die too.

Just when we think all hope is lost, I feel incredibly aroused. What is this… only one man can make me feel this way! The Wizard King comes shooting in at an incredible speed. “Hey fellow teens! What’s Boppin?”

I spring to my feet. “These undead boomers are destroying the town with their stank coochie!” I tell him tropically. “I can’t use my magic on them because they’re dead!”

The Wizard King got an idea. “I need your help.”

“Bow wow daddy!” I get on all fours like a dog.

He frowns and cringes before turning to the hoard of zombies jiving towards us. The Wizard King borrows my magic. “Time Magic and Cum Magic Combo spell: Primordial Soup!”

Before our very eyes, the zombies get encased in some sort of time capsule bubble. They start to rewind into real people before our very eyes. “Ahh! What on earth!?” they cry in fear, thrust back into the horror of living. Then, before they can do anything they are reverted instantly into the basic fundamentals molecules of life.

“Ooh! Soupy!” I lick it up like the dirty dog I am. Hmmmmm now thats some fine consistency. I throw Asta into the soup and make Charmy cook it on high heat. The proteins are the broth marinating the marbled meat that is Asta. It’s not cannibalism because his IQ can’t be considered human.

“Yay we did it! TOo bad Fuegoleon lost an arm but oh well.” the wizard king sighs “Now I’m going to be late to 4 o clock cbt so I gotta dip. Bye.” He leaves, wondering what he did to deserve the wacky escapades that happened today. 


	8. Jack's Life Crisis

Jack PoV:

“UGhhhhhhh” I moan as I bust another nut. I’ve been masturbating to the Wizard KIng for 27 hours non-stop. My dick has long gone limp, but I still manage to squeeze out a few drops of white nectar every 5 minutes. This is my life now. Every waking thought is consumed by Him.

“UGhhhhhh” I moan again as I squeeze out another one. 

Now that I have the power to cum, does anything matter anymore? Life seemed to be so much more… full, back when I was pursuing a goal. Now that I’ve obtained it, what’s next? Is my entire life now just shidding and pissing and cumming? Like a lil baby? Waa waa?

My clothes have turned crunchy from several layers of caked semen. Every time I move I hear them crackle. How much longer can I hold on? My corporeal form is constantly decaying, and soon, only sperm will be left. This is all that I will be remembered by. So what does it matter if I spend the remainder of my life splooging? That’s all I’m good for anyway.

I gaze longingly at my picture of the Wizard King and cum once again. I am tired. So tired. It won’t be long now. 

There’s a knock at the bathroom door accompanied by a shout

“Let Me IN!!” Yami screams.

He must really need to shit. However, the bathroom has become my cum fortress, and I will not easily allow foreign invaders to trample it’s dignity. 

“Go shit in the yard like the dog you are!” I yell at Yami.

The door is pierced by a sword coated in darkness, but the surrounding cum coats it and instantly fixes it in place. I won this time. 

I go back to my musings. “Asta, as cretinous as he is, seems to find enjoyment in working out constantly… maybe I should try that out.” My right arm is already pretty thicc from jerkin it all day but the rest of my body looks like a skeleton straight from its crypt. “Maybe I’ll be able to improve my mentality and self-image through exercise.” 

*Training_Montage.mp4*

Without leaving the bathroom I begin exercising. I do 100 pushups, 100 setups, and 2 hours of running in place. I repeat this ad nauseum until it is night time. For my meals, I guzzle down all the protein I splooged out. Asta tries to come and be my “personal trainer” or something but I dropkick him into the sun so he gives up. I do this everyday for 3 months.

“Aw Finally I’m done!” I say, excitedly. There is no mirror in the bathroom so I couldn't check my progress, but I feel really fit.

I leave the bathroom and everyone gasps, shocked to see how much progress I made in 3 months no doubt. Gauche starts laughing and summons a mirror. I see why they gasped.

I look like an actual skeleton, but bigger. Apparently, all the working out only increased my bone mass and density and did not affect my muscles at all. Yami slaps me on the back and breaks his hand. I am pure undiluted Bone. 

Welcome… to the Bone Zone.

I spot Noelle, but she apparently can’t handle how hot I look and immediately faints. This is my Hot Girl Summer, now no one can stand in my way.


	9. Muredr on the 🅱️lover Ex🅱️ress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Muredr on the 🅱️lover Ex🅱️ress

Today was a big day in the Clover Kingdom! The construction of the first rail line was finished, stretching all the way to the capitol. Everyone was excited to ride it, almost as excited as they were to ride my dick. Wowzers, I’m stiff as a board. I love trains. When I was a kid I had a toy train set and I used to fantasize about strapping down innocent civilians to the tracks. I still imagine their blood curdling screams as the train vores them to this day. Ah, but I digress.

“Choo choo train field trip time” Asta says stupidly as we line up to get on. Noelle coughs because the smoke is extra thick on our side of the train. I pull out my vape and blow smoke rings down her throat. 

“Nice vape tricks man!” Noelle gurgles. 

I look up at the engine at the front of the train and see a very fat man sitting there. He is shackled to the conductor’s seat. “Hey! Isn’t that the old captain of the Purple Orcas?” Yami says.

“You forgot my name!” he weeps. “I’m here to pay for my war crimes.”

“Who is that Yami?” I ask.

“That’s Gudanlder Poosint, he has invisibility magic so nobody has to look at his beta chin.”

Wow cool! If I could turn invisible, I’d sneak up on Asta and dump glue down his nasal passage! 

We get on the train and sit down, ready for our ride. Gudanlder sobs uncontrollably. The secret of this train is that the steam that powers it comes from him desperately pedalling on a set of bike pedals that were haphazardly attached to the controls. A cruel punishment indeed.

Slowly, the train starts to move. I stare moodily out the window and think longingly about cum. What a wonderful world. 

“AIEIEIEIEIE”

“Oh no that’s the unmistakable sound of someone being murdered!” Yami says as he puts on his detective cap. “Looks like this is a job for detective Sukihiro!” Yami almost immediately goes mad with power and beats up the elderly. Yami gets discharged for police brutality (BLM) and is forced to help Gudanlder pedal for the duration of the trip. I pick up Yami’s cap, and take up his mantle. I am now Detective Elation, here to deliver sticky justice.

I go to investigate the crime scene. The victim of the heinous murder is none other than Asta. I no longer care about this case and force Noelle to be the detective. “Who could have possibly wanted to kill Asta?” Noelle ponders.

_ Hmmm…. I wonder…  _ We all think to ourselves.

“Look! A clue!” There are blood footprints leading away from the body even though Asta appeared to die a bloodless death. I lick it up before they can follow the trail because I’m hungry and my favorite meal is HIV. “Hey! How are we supposed to find the murderer if you eat the evidence?” Noelle says.

I spit the blood into her mouth. “Here, have your evidence.” I storm off, pulling out my Grimoire. “Cum Magic: Cum Trail.” The cum goes down to where the footsteps were, so I have a trail to follow by myself. At this rate, I will find the murderer before they do. Good.

The trail goes through the aisle of the train, through the sleeping and dining cars. It leads straight to the kitchen. “The murderer… is in here!” I kick open the door secretly and light floods the kitchen. There, stuffing his fat fuck of a face with croissaints!!! It’s none other than the King, Augustus Kira Clover XIII.

“Ahh!” he yells stupidly. “Who are you?”

I point at him. “My name is Jack Elation… and you are the murderer!” I cackle evilly. “I was planning on letting the murderer go… but the only person I hate more than Asta is YOU!”

Augustus mongolian throat-sings in zetsubou. “uuuuuuUAUAAHHAHAHHHH”

“BUt who Will BeLieVe YoU? I aM KinG YoU aRe a FiltHy CommOner.” He belches.

“True, but who will believe a dead man? Cum Magic: Seed Bondage” I say Kirito-like. His own cum fills his mouth so he cannot scream as I murder him. I pull out my millimeter long blade and begin stabbing him over and over again a la Julius Caesar. I continue this for one hour, but he is still alive. 

“Hmm… it seems that killing you is taking too long,” I say, getting an idea. “Very well… I will give you a fate worse than death! Cum Magic: Sperm of the Puppet Master.” My cum goes inside of his anus and his eyes become white. The possession is complete.

I laugh evilly at the CLIMAX of my plan.

“Now… the ruler of the Clover Kingdom is none other than ME!!!” I say Lelouche-like.

I cant let them find out he’s the murderer though, so I frame Asta for his own murder. If anyone is dumb enough to murder himself, it’s him. To pay for his crime, he’s forced to pedal the Clover Express alongside Yami and Gudanlder. “Yay!! I working out love!”

Case Closed.


	10. Royal Romance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Thank you for reading so far! We hope you enjoy! Please comment *jeb bush voice*
> 
> *cums and dies*

After the locomotive blunder, the black bulls and I return to our base. The Wizard King pardoned Asta and Yami and shifted all the blame toward Gudanlder Poosint. Now Gudanlder is sentenced to eternal death, where Julius uses his time magic to rewind Gudanlder’s time to just before his death after the executioners slay him. The executioners work in teams of four from 9-5, so Gudanlder suffers about 20 deaths a day. Pretty cool.

Either way, on to important matters. Since taking over Augustus' bodice, I began hatching some schemes. Some devious plans if you will. Since my romance with Noelle isn’t progressing as far as I wanted it to (we’ve only gotten to 6th base) I’ve decided to speed things along.

I go to my room and meditate so I take complete control of Augustus’ body. The plans begin.

Fast forward a day.

Noelle and I are vibing on the couch when we hear a loud bang on the front door. Asta goes to let the person at the door in, but is blown to smithereens in a red spray along with the door. Mereoleona enters the chat. She grabs Noelle and with her flame paws and drags her away. Haha, the plot thickens.

“Mereoleona! Where are we going?” Noelle squeals.

“SHut up liberal,” Mereoleona pulls out her Trump 2020 flag and sets a bald eagle on fire. “You’ll see when we get there.”

The two of them go to the castle and into the throne room. Augustus is there, getting fed food by two young girls. His eyes look awfully… creamy. 

“You, Noelle Silva-” He proclaims, standing up and pointing at her. “As a distant relative and royalty, I am setting up an arranged marriage for you.”

“WHat?!!” Noelle does the opposite of cum, whatever that is. 

“Furthermore, since we live in a society, you must obey your husbands every whims and meet every demand.” Augustus continues. “I am aware that this news might be shocking, but as many slaves and captives know, it be what it be. Now begone.”

“Wait!” Noelle cries as Mereoleona drags her away. “Who am I even marrying??”

“...you will see at the wedding.” Augustus smirks.

Noelle is dragged immediately to a cathedral and given a huge white dress. The maid who handed her the dress remarks at how white is good for weddings because there will be no clear stains. Noelle feels hopeless and lost. Whilst in the midst of despair, she also sees Mereoleona put on a wedding dress. Noelle is really confused and sad and also disturbed. Well she’s not the main character so her feelings don’t really matter.

Mereoleona and Noelle march down the aisle and they see a familiar face. Who else could be waiting for them dressed up in groom’s attire other than Jack Elation? Noelle feels so much more relieved, after all they share so many memories. Like that one time he vaped down her throat. Or spit blood down her throat. Or made her wear a dress made of cum.

“Jack?” Noelle squeals happily “Am I.. am I marrying you?”

I nod and grin. Noelle cums, but as the maid said, no stains were visible. 

Mereoleona looks confused. “Wait then who am I marrying?” She says.

“Congratulations! You both get to marry me!” I say cheerfully.

Mereoleona commits three acts of manslaughter on the cathedral personnel and flees the crime scene to return to the jungle. Now only Noelle is left.

The rest of the wedding procession goes on without a hitch, and I take home an enamored Noelle in my arms. She came so much from sheer joy that she can no longer stand. Now we are married.


	11. cummymoon

As is customary for newlyweds, Noelle and I went straight to Barbados to enjoy a nice long honeymoon. Magic Knights were allowed to take 3 days off for this purpose. The Wizard King also accompanies those lucky magic knights on every honeymoon, this makes up the large bulk of his job. This is a tropical paradise cum true! 

At least, that’s what we thought.

“Wow, this beach is so nice, Cummy Bear!” Noelle moans as she rolls around in the sand. 

“Open wide jizzberry,” I say, scooping up sand into a spoon before shovelling it into her mouth. 

She crunches it up happily. “Mmm sea shells my favorite!” 

“Hey look at my sandcastle! Pretty epic amirite?” The Wizard King says.

Noelle and I look over at the King’s “castle”, it's a misshapen mound of sand not even fit of being called a hill. 

“Wow… cool?” Noelle says. “So remind me, why are you here on our honeymoon again?”

“Oh that's easy! I need to watch you consummate your marriage! For legal reasons!” The Wizard King Proudly states.

“That doesn’t sound very legal Wizard King!” I scream in fear.

“Of course it’s legal! I make the law!” The Wizard King decrees. “Actually I’m kind of bored, so if you could hurry it up that would be nice. I have better things to do than watch two loser virgins.” 

The Wizard King pulls down my pants and shoves me into the direction of Noelle. I fall face forward into her crotch. WOw Romance!! Noelle’s fear juices fill my mouth. Delicioso.

What a wacky situation! To be expected from the life of Jack Elation and my now-wife, Noelle Elation. 

Suddenly, the worst thing possible happens! Just as I’m about to make sweet love to my wife, a giant crocodile bursts out of the surf. We all scream as it hurdles towards us at a high speed, jaws snapping together. “Wizard King! Save us!”

He shrieks. “Noooo! I came here to watch you fuck, not to get eaten by a crocodile! Figure it out yourself virgin piss-babies!” He teleports away before we can say anything else.

“Help me Jack!” Noelle squeals as the crocodiles start to drag her away by her ponytails. Oh well we had a good run.

“See ya cummy!” I say and then dip. I learned from the best, my dad.


	12. Absolute Licht Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning: disgusting

Since I have nothing better to do, I decide to go save Noelle. She’s the hottest girl around after all, so it would be a waste if she died. Unlike Rades, I’m not particularly attracted to corpses. I sharpened a stick before heading out, my only defense against the crocodile that kidnapped her. I’m not sure if Crocodiles cum so I have to have a backup plan. I’m not a zoologist, don’t blame me for my ignorance.

“Welp Here goes nothing” I say as I pull out my picture of the Wizard King, shooting cum as far as the eye can see. “Cum Magic: Cummarine!”

I form a sub nautical vessel from my protein infused man milk. With this I’ll be able to traverse the depths of the Ocean and hunt that saltwater crocodile. Look out Moby Dick, there’s a new white whale in town. 

I venture down into the stanky sea. It smells like Gudanlder with a hint of expired bleu cheese. Hmmm Fermentation. Good thing I’m blockaded behind a thick wall of fortified semen. It makes the smell a lil bit more homey. I however can't see anything in my Semen steed, so I make a hole and climb on top for vision. I start to get a little dizzy from holding my breath. No fear! “Cum Magic: Cum Gills!” Cum seeps through my lungs and cuts through the side of my neck, forming gills to filter air out of the water. “There, that’s better.”

I ride my pale horse over an undersea ridge, then see a frightening sight! The Crocodile! Noelle is still in its jaws, with an air bubble around her head. And upon that Crocodile sits a pointy-eared twink with numerous braids in his hair. HIs face screams: “I’m going to cause problems on purpose.” 

“Hey! Who are you and what are you doing with my wife!” I exclaimed to him.

“NINGENNNNNNNNNN SHINEEEE” He Warbles like the peckish little twink bird he is. 

“Whoa slow down! Let’s settle this like men,” I say before he can do anything wacky. “Let’s… joust!”

He frowns. “Joust?”

“Yeah! With our Massive Cocks!!”

“Ah Good Thing My host body has a sizable splitter. Good, I accept your challenge. Also in case you were wondering why I called it a splitter… It's because if you lose I’m going to use it to split your ‘wife’ in half.” 

“How dare you?” I say dropping my pants to reveal my throbbing Horse Cock. “Are you ready?” I say in the same voice as the Spongebob intro pirate.

“Yabba dabba doo bitch” Licht replies as he unzips his pants, unsheathing his carnal war lance.

“Let the Games Begin” The Wizard King says, popping out of nowhere. “I never miss a good cock fight ;)” (I’m not sure how he vocalizes the emoji but he does it anyway… he is a man of many talents).

I spur my steed to action and ready my Thunderous cock in hand. The elf bitch won’t know what hit him. We ride at mach 7 speed towards each other, our penises glistening in the saltwater with precum. The excitement of battle hardens my will and my willie. Our steeds near each other, a mere moment before impact. The elf twists his cock in his hands and spiral thrusts it towards me. I bat his cocck away with my mighty flesh hammer and dickslap his face. He falls off his crocodile and floats towards the ocean abyss. I beat the crocodile to death with my steely dan penis, smashing its skull into fragments. I pull Noelle from the corpse.

As I float back to the surface, slowly as to not get the bends, because reality definitely matters in this story, I feel a hand grasp my toned calves. It is the elf’s.

“I have lost, please carry me back up to the surface and make me your servant, as is elf law” the elf says. ”My name is Licht, by saying my name after my defeat you will bind me to you for all time.”

“Licht, please help me get my wife to the surface.” I say.

He smiles, and helps me on my slow voyage to the surface. 

When we reach the beach, I return my jizzberry to consciousness. “Ah good, you’re awake, thank fuck. Make me an empanada.”

I turn to Licht, “Thank you for your help with my wife. Though you did steal her in the first place.”

“No problem, my Husband,” Licht replies.

“Wait wha?” I say.

“Yeah I’m your immortal husband now, in elf law if you defeat someone you marry them. I don't make the rules.” Licht says “Hold on one second my host wants to speak”

Licht turns into William Vangeance “Yo homie, I don't wanna marry a guy. No offense but I’m home of phobic. I ain't schlurping no pelvis meat, ya dig?” Yung Willy says.

“Yeah but we already dick jousted, you can’t really get any gayer than that” I say, thrusting my magnum dong down Yung Willy’s throat. Yung Willy cries and gags before turning back into Licht, who happily schlurps on my manmeat. Noelle watches in horror.


	13. Bwack Cwover

I begin my day with my morning calisthenics, I masturbate for 2 hours with each hand to strengthen my forearms. I fill up two buckets with my semen and begin doing squats whilst holding them with a bar over my back. I feel the sting and burn building in my legs, and contributing to overall bone growth. Yup, nothing beats working out in the mornings

“Wow, Jack!” Asta runs over. “I’m glad to see you working out! Is that milk?”

“Yes,” I tell the unsuspecting boy.

You know what happened next. ;)

He takes a frothy milk bath with my leftover “dairy”. Hey it’s lactose free.

“Morning, Jack, my beautiful husband” Noelle and Licht say at the exact same time. They greet me as is customary in the elf kingdom by getting on their knees and doing the worm. It’s a cultural thing, you wouldn't understand. 

“Thank you my wife and husband,” I respond, `doing gangham style in response. They give me my morning coffee and 12 dozen raw eggs for breakfast (its good for libido) and I start to eat. I crack open each egg with my incisor and slurp those delicious juices. I discard the egg shells inside of charmy’s mouth and begin kicking her in the stomach, you know, to make sure she’s properly composting my egg shells.

“Ah another perfect day” I say. “The sun is shining and my cock is rock hard. What more does a man need?” However, i know the answer to that question. Man cannot truly be happy until he has conquered all obstacles, overcome all trials, taken every route. Yes. I must take more. I must conquer… The Wizard King route! I shall make him my husband!

The most obvious way to start is to write a sweet, innocent love letter. Men like that, right? I order Noelle to bring me a pen and paper. Drawing inspiration from Shakespeare and Oscar Wilde, I begin to craft my ode to the Wizard King:

_ “Dear Winky Kink, _

_ Yes, this is the pet name I have chosen for you. I hope you like it, because I’m never going to call you by your title again, at least not until we are married. I am not sure if you have noticed my infatuation with you over these past months, but it is time for me to make my feelings known. Please, take the time to read this poem I have crafted for you… I agonized over the prose for hours, turning it into something truly beautiful. Please, you beautiful man… take these words to heart: _

_ Roses are red _

_ My cock is blue _

_ I’ve been gripping it for hours _

_ Thinking of you _

_ As you can see, it is hard to express my feelings in just 4 lines… so if you would like to talk more about this, perhaps we can have dinner? Haha, just kidding… _

… unless?

_ Your eternal admirer, _

_ Jack Lamborghini Elation, Esq. _

There are tears in the corners of my eyes as I fold up my letter and place it in an envelope. I press a delicate kiss to the seal before giving it to Licht to put in the mail.  _ Oh, woe is me! To be in love _

_ One day later… _

“What in the world?!”

The Wizard King was used to getting fanmail, but this was… another level. “Who on earth wrote this?” His question was finally answered as soon as he saw the signature. “Oh no… not this kid again! Anyone but him!!! I’ve got to do something to get him off my back, or I’ll have be swimming in his cum!” The Wizard King thought long and hard, and he suddenly arrived at a solution.

“Hmm, yes this could work… I’ll send one of  _ those... _

_ Another Day Later… _

“Clang clang Knock Knock” There is a series of belts on the Black Bulls’ door before it is finally kicked in, shards of wood flying everywhere. Through the hole in the wall, the startled Black Bulls see a familiar figure. Lo and behold, it is Mereoleona! She is dressed up in UPS outfit that wraps tightly around her monstrous bosom. You could say that she looks like the whole package. 

Mereoleona pulls a coffin-sized box out of her satchel, and throws it into the lobby. She turns around and walks away, shaking her hips as she goes, giving everyone quite a good show.

As the Black Bulls stared longingly at their jungle queen, they heard a scratching sound from inside the box followed by a soft “UwU.”

Oh no, what kind of wacky scenario have the Black Bulls found themselves in this time around?


	14. Schrodinger's catgirl

The purring and “pwz mistas” plague my eardrums. The non stop cacophony of uwus and owos drives me onto my knees. And on my knees I pray, to whatever god allowed this abomination to exist, to make it go away. But that will not do, for surely if there is a god, he is evil and spiteful, as evidenced by what lies inside the box. 

It all started when Mereoleona delivered an intriguing crate to my doorstep. While I was grateful to be blessed by Mereoleona’s presence, I was a tad suspicious as to what the package contained. I was just about to open it when i heard scratching and purring coming from within the box. I decided to consult my peers before opening.

“What do you guys think is inside? Do you think it’s even safe to open?” I ask my so called squadmates.

“Oooh I hope I can eat it,” Charmy groans. I kick her

“Ah! I hope it’s pretty girl!” FInral shrieks. I shriek back.

“I hope it’s my little sister,” Gauche growls.

“I hope it’s a good friend” Gordon whispers.

“I hope it’s more alcohol,” Vanessa slurs.

“Can I shit in the box when you’re done?” Yami asks apathetically.

“Can I fight box?” Luck screeches in an ancient tongue.

“Grrr! I want to go into the box and do manly things!” Magna says.

“I-I don’t care what’s in the box Baka,” Noelle stutters. I make out with her as her reward for voicing her opinion. Every voice matters. Excepts Asta’s.

“I hope it’s something I can pleasure my husband with,” Licht adds.

“AIIEEEEEEEE” Asta screams.I 

“Okay, okay, wait just one diddly darn moment,” I say. “Is there a note or something on the box? A return address, mayhaps?”

I scour the box for clues, and come across some spooky text written in Impact font. It reads “Opening this package may cause a universal paradox”

_ “OOO I love those” _ I think to myself. I shape my cock into a crowbar and jam it into the opening near the lid. With a heave and a ho, i blow the lid off the crate. Inside lies a sickly looking child. Except this child has silky black cat ears. It’s eyes open and it begins to wail “UWUUWUUWUOWOOWOOWUWUU” I scream in horror. It sounds like a siren mixed with the screams of tortured toddlers. I should know, i love torturing toddlers.

“What in tarnation?” I exclaim. “What is this horrid creature?”

“Are they supposed to be a new squad member?” 

“No… they are much too young,” Yami concludes. “I don’t have the mental capacity to deal with this right now, you’re on your own.” He leaves as soon as humanly possible, leaving us to deal with this strange yet intriguing gift. 

I dont know what to do…

“Daddy, give me rubbies” The creature screams. For some reason I cannot disobey its command. All by itself, my hand reaches over and touches the belly of the beast. It’s eyes lock with mine and turn red. It gives a cruel smile as it grabs my hand with a surprising strength and brings it towards its mouth. It’s jaws unhinge and in a trance, I place my hand within the gaping cavern. Like a bear trap just sprung, Its lips clamp down and the creature begins to suck. I feel like my skin is about to be ripped off from the pressure. The beast releases its grip. I look at my hand and noticed that an entire layer of skin is missing, leaving me with a bloody red surface.

“I SUCKED YOUR FINGIESSS DADDDYY” The beast cackles. I scream in fear.

“LET ME GLOMP YOU FATHER!!!” The beast rises. It must have been an illusion in the box that allowed me to mistake such a wretched figure as a small child. The creature itself was over 9 feet tall. It hunches over, preparing to glomp. I have to use my magic and quick.

“Cum Magic: Cum inferno” The beast drops over and begins to seize. “GIvE Me DAddY’s CumMies” It moans. I up the intensity of my magic and the beast howls in pleasure and pain. I must keep it sedated. While my magic is activated, I lift it up. It’s texture is sickening. LIke 1000 rats sewn together and pulsating as one being. Shivering, I thrust the beast back in its crate and nail the lid shut. 

I can’t even begin to process what just happened. One moment, it’s a sickly child, and the next a horrible eldritch being. Well, there wasn’t a return address, so we have to keep it… We decide the best place for it is locked up with Yami’s other pets down in the dungeon. Now it’s Asta’s problem. 

Two weeks later…

There’s a horrible growl from underneath the base. We’re all hanging around when suddenly, the floorboards crack and a horrible beast emerges from the basement. “Oh no! It’s the cat girl! She ate the other pets!” Now she is a 60 foot long Leviathan, the world snake, devourer of worlds. With an unearthly screech, she bursts her way out of the base and runs off towards the nearest populated area. Her ungodly flesh puslates with each step, as if she was the pallid souls of the damned themselves stitched together on earth “Oh no! We have to go defeat her again!” 

We quickly pursue, seeing smoke already rising in the distance. Screams accompany them. Because of our carelessness, innocent people are going to die! As I approach my rogue pet, I make up my mind: I must become a Martyr. Maybe one day they will call me Saint Jack Lamborghini Elation, Esq. 

“Kitty!!!” I yell, running towards her with my arms flailing. Her glowing eyes turn towards me before she eviscerated an orphanage. “Please, take me instead! I’m the one you want… GLOMP ME ALREADY!!!”

Her 20 feline eyes widen. “DADDY….. GLOMPPP!!!!” 3 eldritch tongues shoot out of her blackhole of a mouth. With that, she crouches down in preparation to pounce. I brace myself for impact. I know that her jaws will engulf me… the only hope is for me to cum while inside of her, causing her to implode. But in that case, I will surely die.

_ Noelle… LIcht… Winky Kink… the three people I loved. My time with you was short, but I enjoyed every minute of it. Thank you. _

The catgirl pounces, her mouth gaping open and tongue shooting out to grab me. My picture of the Wizard King is clenched in my fist as I prepare for the void of death. However, I will not go down without a fight. I will show this abomination my most advanced magic before i perish.

“Cum magic: Cum of The Elder Gods” The sky turns dark and clouds swirl overhead. A black puncture through spacetime takes place overhead and a giant pale cock comes down. And He Is called Death. The cock shoots semen down upon the catgirl until she is covered. It writhes and twists like a worm. The cum itself is composed of millions upon millions of maggots, each devouring the flesh of the ancient being. In 30 seconds it's all over. With nothing but a dark stain on the floor remaining.

The townspeople cheer. “You did it! You saved the town!”

“Awww now I can’t become a saint,” I whine.

“God Damn it, you killed my cat girl!”

“Huh?” We all turn to see an old lady standing there, looking upset. Then, before our eyes, she transforms into the Wizard King, who was watching the fight. “I had hoped that it would kill you… but it seems that you are determined to linger and cause more problems for me.”

“Kyaaa! So, YOU sent me the cat girl?” I squeal, trying to look as cute as possible. “Oh, Winky Kink! I see what you’re doing~”

“What? No! That’s not what I meant-”

“Aww, you’re such a tsundere, Winky Kink.”


	15. Thorkell in Black Clover: What War Crimes will he Commit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thorkell from Vinland Saga comes to Black Clover

It was a cold winter's day like every day in Daneland. The snow was tinted red with the fallen foes and friends of today's battle. Today Throkell won the fight, which was no surprise. In every battle Throkell came out the victor. One might think this would be cause for celebration, however they would be wrong. For Thorkell, the very essence of war is a celebration of humanity. It brings out their avarice, pride, hatred, and will and blends them together with their blood. Thorkell was mulling over these thoughts as he was shitting on top of the defeated commander. Thorkell loves a good victory poop. Little did lil Thorky know that the commander he was shitting on was actually Yami in an alternate reality. The Yami in the Black Clover universe just so happened to be unloading a giant dump at the exact same moment in time. The fluctuation of poop leaving and entering two different versions of Yami created a hole through space time, ripping Thorkell out of his world and into his.

“Hinga dinga durgen,” Thorkell exclaims vikingly. “Where have I been transported to? It doesn’t matter- I will pillage like my viking jeans command.” No, that’s not a typo. Thorkell was wearing jeans. Just jeans.

Thorkell took a look at his surroundings. He appeared to be in some sort of city-center. Which is weird, cause he couldn't see any slaves. “Hmmm, where are the slaves? With cute little cat-ears? And fuzzy tails? This perplexes me.” All 8 feet of Thorkell’s viking mass march over to a food stall. Thorkell begins eating produce while locking eyes with the shopkeep. Throkell doesn't believe in payment, or capitalism. 

“S-s-sir,” the shopkeep said timidly, a little afraid of the large man. “Um, are you going to pay for that?”

“No!!!” Thorkell bellowed. “Eat the rich!”

_ But, I’m a peasant!  _ The shopkeep thought to himself, but it wasn’t like he could reason with Thorkell. “Sir, if you don’t pay, I’m going to have to call the guards to come arrest you!”

Thorkell just laughed. As if anyone could arrest him! However, there was something Thorkell didn’t understand quite yet… in this world, everyone had magic, but he didn’t! Uh oh.

“Halt! You have violated the law!” Five guards suddenly appeared. “Pay the court a fine, or serve your sentence! Your stolen goods are now forfeit.”

Thorkell slams a guards face with his meaty fist. Blood and teeth spray everywhere. Thorkell picks up the guard and slams him into the other 4 enforcers. They collapse. While they’re down he crushes their balls with his feet. He continues to pummel the guards… for 10 minutes. At this point there’s nothing left but armor, meat, and blood. 

After he’s done, Thorkell continues to gorge to the dismay of everyone around him. However, a particular magic knight just so happened to be in the area… none other than I, Jack Elation!

I sprint to the scene of the crime and spot a giant eating a stick of meat. Like a slim jim, but bigger. Something else catches my eye. I look down at his crotch and notice an impeccable bulge. It has so much curve, and such length. His cock must be at least 1 ½ feet. Steamy. I summon Noelle. Someone must give this beast a test ride.

Noelle is portaled to the location a la Finral. I give her my instructions. “Baka!!!!” She protests! “I’m not riding a meaty Norse cock for your enjoyment! Do it yourself, or get Licht to do it!!”

I surrender. I must accept my fate… ah so cruel. But I must experience the perfect cock! So it is a win-win situation. Could I possibly add this large viking man to my ever-growing harem? 7Hmmm, we’ll have to give him a taste test first. 

“Yoo-hoo, giant meat machine? Can I pwetty pwz nibble on ur massive meaty dong? I’m hungyyyy” I say seductively. I learned from the Ancient cat-girl. 

“...” Thorkell stares at me with confusion. I however, mistake it for lust, and casually approach him, right hand extended to unzip his jeans.

Thorkell lets out a terrified battle cry and strikes me in the skull. I fly to the ground. Normally a blow of that power would instantly pulverise the head, but because of my dense bones, I was able to take the brunt of the attack with minimal damage.

Thorkell is shocked and upset. It appears ill have to lure him to sleep to pillage my Viking treasure. “Cum Magic: Cum To Bed” I chant. 

I wait a few seconds. Nothing happens.

“BAKANA!!!!” I chortle, “No man can escape from my cumtasm!” 

Thorkell looks at me,, “cum? Whats that?”

By the gods! He doesn't know what cum is? He’s as bad as Asta! I whip out my cock and begin masturbating to Thorkell. The quickest way for him to learn is to see. In 2 seconds, i cum all over the floor.

“Thats Cum” I say.

He backs away in fear. “Oh that stuff… yucky. Never done it, never will. You see, I have crippling erectile dysfunction. My third leg will always be bent.

Bent? I kind of like the sound of that. But I know he means it in a bad way. :( (Yes I thought the emoji deal with it).

“Did I hear that someone has erectile dysfunction?”

Ah!! I know that sultry voice! We look up in time to see none other than the Wizard King descend from his heavenly realm, cracking his knuckles. Thorkell is immediately suspicious of this man’s sex appeal. “And who might you be? Another enemy?”

The Wizard King laughs. “No, not an enemy… a friend.” He winks.

Thorkell moans. “What?! Is this magic?”

“You could say that. I manipulated the time-space continuum of your cock, and replaced it with ur penis from a different dimension, one that doesn't have ED” 

Throkell looks at the Wizard King and his jeans rip from the force of his newfoundland erection. Flaccid, it was one and half feet, but hard, its about the length of his torso.

Thorkell laughs maniacally “ITS VIKING TIME”

He sprints full speed ahead into the city center, cock in hand. He visits the Holiday Inn and Out Express, which is now a brothel. The only girl they have hired is Nebra Silva. Thorkell takes what he can get. The entire Clover Kingdom could hear the moans.

The brothel shut down because of how roughly Thorkell fucked Nebra. Half the walls were destroyed. Thorkell disappeared into the wilderness after that to wreak havoc on the Spade Kingdom, completely eliminating that threat. 

Fin. Or should i say Thorfinn.


End file.
